My water broke at 5:26am on Saturday, September 12th. I called my mom to ask if the trickle I felt was what I thought it was, then I called Jason to get out of work (he was on duty), then I called the hospital to let them know I was coming in. I showered, shaved my legs, emptied the dish washer, an d drank a Carnation instant Breakfast, then (after Jason got home and showered) we left.
The breakfast came up in the parking lot. I was having stronger, closer contractions by the time we got to the hospital around 7. I did not want an epidural, but I now completely understand why most women do. I walked, used the exercise/birthing ball, and utilized the deep tub in my birth room, even though the water was not warm enough for my satisfaction. The tub helped me relax a lot, even though I was still crying out in pain with each contraction.
Finally they moved me to the bed. I had originally wanted to use the squatting bar to push the baby out, but that position was just not going to happen in the amount of pain I was in. I asked for some drugs to take the edge off and they put some fentanol (sp?) in my IV, which barely took the edge off for maybe 15-20 minutes and mostly just made my head kinda loopy for awhile. Shortly thereafter I informed the nurses that I needed to push (mind you, this was amid much groaning, crying, and swearing "oh fuck" a lot), and they checked my cervix to give me the go ahead. Screw them, I was going to push anyway, so they let me start at 9 1/2 cm dilated.
I pushed through it and though my eyes were shut most of the time I'm pretty sure all in all I only pushed for half an hour at the most. Jason hardly looked at anything except me and managed not to pass out at the sight of my blood, so I was proud of him. I'm even more proud of myself for having a natural delivery in less than eight hours.
At one point it was stinging so badly all I could think was "wow, I can't believe my vagina can stretch this far!" My baby girl, Lyra Adele Ritner, was born at 11:48am on Saturday, September 12, 2009 at 20 inches and 7 lbs, 14 ounces. I found out moments later that no, I really couldn't stretch that far. I was bleeding profusely to the point where my doctor was scared, and I had torn at awkward angles in three places, including into my sphincter muscle. They ended up giving baby Lyra to her daddy while they attempted to stitch me up. I was able to nurse her a little before the special surgeon got there; they had to call him in when my doctor couldn't figure out how to sew me up. They numbed me with the same stuff they give you at the dentist for cavities, but it still hurt to be sewn up, almost as badly as the birth had.
After a little over an hour I was finally okay to sit up in bed and Jason brought our baby to me, and my aunt and uncle visited. Jason's parents had left their house the moment I told them I was in labor, but it was a 15 hour drive so we would have awhile to wait. I had lost a LOT of blood; more than I had realized. The nurses got me up to shower and I almost fell over in the tub for hardly being able to stand upright. That got better by the next day, after I got some food in me, but the hospital decided to keep me for 48 hours just in case.
We brought Lyra home on Monday with the help of Jason's parents, and we have been resting and enjoying her ever since. I'm still healing, of course, and will have to take it easy for the next couple of weeks. I only have Jason at home until the 24th, when he'll have to go back to working 12 hour days 6 or 7 days a week for the next month or two. So it's going to be tough, but I'm taking it as easy as I can so I can heal as fast as possible. I'm looking forward to my mom and dad's visits next week, and my grandparents are coming up to see her in October. And I'm appreciating and enjoying the help and company of my in-laws for all it is worth.
Breastfeeding still hurts like hell, but it's getting a little bit easier now that my milk has come in. She'd better know I love her to keep going through this much pain every day just to feed her right. Because I plan to breastfeed for the first six months of her life, I'm already beginning to worry about returning to work. I think I may have to talk to my boss and see if it's okay for me to come back in the Spring instead of the winter, since Lyra won't be hitting the six month mark til sometime in March. I really hope that ends up being alright, and I also hope I'm sick of her enough by then that I can handle leaving her with a sitter for a few hours a day. Right now I'm still enjoying the novelty of a new infant and it's sinking in that I'm someone's mother. I'll enjoy it for all it's worth while she's still tiny, cute, and (for the most part) a calm and happy baby.
Here is a link to the video of her first bath; don't pay attention to the other YouTube videos beneath it, as they are simply from other babies named Lyra and not my cutie pie. Lyra's First Bath
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